Gay online dating advice

Privacy is important, but many HIV positive guys don't list their status because of the stigma that goes along with it. I had a crush on an HIV positive guy for years and the reason it didn't work out had nothing to do with his status. Of course, there must be communication about safer sex and health, but all couples should be cautious regardless of status. If you're comfortable listing your status, then do so knowing that it won't deter everyone. However, if you prefer not to list your results at least be sure not to lie.


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You want a relationship built on trust. You and your date will have time to talk about it when appropriate, but giving him a false impression can be a quick turn off. Many profiles will ask about your sexual preferences. Sure you may like group sex, but is that a detail you want to disclose up front?

If you are looking for the more relationship oriented type of guy, you may want to emphasize that you desire friendship, a relationship or even 1-on-1 sex. Stating that you are looking for group sex or 3 ways in a profile sends a signal that you are promiscuous.

Life, Off Script

You should never lie about the things you desire and keeping it bottled up inside is not good either, but think about your audience and try to assess what information is too much too soon. Just because your dream man doesn't like to do something now, doesn't mean he's not open to the possibilities.

However, keep in mind he may be turned off by your desire before getting to know you. Another popular profile question is which sexual role best fits you. Are you a top, bottom or versatile?


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  • Do you just like oral sex or are you not into sex at all? Answer in whatever way you feel comfortable. If you prefer not to label yourself, then most sites have the option of choosing "Ask Me" or you can leave the field blank. It's not uncommon, however, to find a guy online that you really like but your sexual roles don't match up. Don't let this stop you. A listed preference is often not the ultimate say.

    Forget the flesh

    Who knows, if the cosmos align properly he or you may be open to trying something different. Where would you prefer to meet your partner for the first time? On most profiles, your options include your place, his place, or a public venue. You also have the option to choose "Ask me! Remember, even after a long chat your new potential is still a stranger. If you decide to meet up to get to know one another better, follow these online dating safety tips.

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    Unless he can juggle or tap dance in bed, "versatile bottom" means only one thing, so be prepared to take charge if things go well. If you're lying when you call yourself a "versatile top," either call it quits now or start working on your oral communication skills.


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    • If he insists on taking "important calls" several times during your date, don't automatically think he's blowing you off. In today's complicated world, he might be calling work, his sitter, or his ex-wife to see if she can pick up the kids. Chill out, and use the time to call your sponsor for encouragement. In the old days, it was common, and common sense, to say that, if you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone he's slept with.

      Nowadays, it's common sense to remember that, if you sleep with someone who's in a Step program, you are also sleeping with everyone in his Home Group. Be prepared to be judged by all the members of the orgy. If you've met the guy online and have never met in person, and if his entire chat so far has been about how amazingly hot you are and how amazingly much he's into you and how he's quite certain you're the guy for him, he will hate you within 20 minutes of your date and you will never hear from him again.

      If you request an explanation, he will call you a stalker and block you from any social media sites you might share. While it's nice to have a grasp of current events and knowledge of local culture, it's no longer a first-date pre-requisite.